Josie's Prank Night

So, here's a little Halloween treat (no tricks) from me to you, especially for fans of Mister Jack, my Halloween horror novellette. Enjoy! 

Josie's Prank Night 

Copyright 2021

The resident "witch" of Summerdale normally hated Halloween. For a variety of reasons, some of which had been widely known to a handful of townspeople that were old enough to still remember the decades past stories about her. 

Of course most of those old tales concerning her and her long deceased mother and her murdered lover Jack Delacroix, aka the infamous local boogeyman otherwise known as Mister Jack, were mostly false. Only Josie knew the truth and only a few others did too. Those numbered less than the fingers of her arthritic right hand. Except for the rancher still kicking it on his property at the outskirts of town, once a former lover when she was much younger and still had her looks.

So, Josie didn't just despise the autumnal holiday because of what it represented and those ghastly memories tied to her parents...no, she hated it because of the kids that started coming around, bothering her, playing Halloween pranks and disturbing her relatively quiet existence. And scaring her cats, too.

For years after the personal tragedy that afflicted her mother, and for years after Josie entered this world until her mother died, no one bothered her. Sure, the stories abounded but it hadn't been until she was on her own and trying to just live her life that the kids started coming around. At first it was merely innocent curiosity. But soon the inevitable Halloween mischief began. 

Then it stopped, thankfully, as the sixties came and went with all the social strife and the war. The seventies had nearly come and gone before the latest crop of ne'er do wells decided to harass the crazy, witchy old cat lady living in the woods outside of the town proper. 

And now here came the 1980s. 

She hoped this new era of peace and prosperity would give her another break from the annual fall tradition the high schoolers liked to call Prank Night. Seemed like the allure of the newfangled MTV channel and video game arcades, along with the usual nonsense young people with raging hormones got up to since time immemorial, wasn't simply enough.

Last Halloween, it had been awful and the kids a bit meaner and disrespectful. One of the little bastards broke a front window, not to mention the aftermath of broken eggs that had been tossed at her old ramshackle house. 

Josie vowed that if those same kids or a new crop of them came around this Halloween, she'd have a little Prank Night fun of her own. 

She'd spent time considering her options, least of which was actually employing some of what some would call black magic. Sure, she could do that because she had her mother's witches journal, her Book of Shadows, which sounded more ominous than it really was. But there were things in there that would more than do the trick. Josie had many times thought about resurrecting the restless ghost of her father, but even if she could, that kind of magic always came with a price. And she just wasn't prepared to do that, even if she could.

No, she'd let her beloved father have his final rest, one whom she'd never met in this plane, such as it was. Besides, Josie got the impression that her mother, blessed be her soul, would most likely not be happy if she attempted that.

Josie sat on her front porch, smoking her pipe and sipping her own blend of strong herbal tea and mulled over what exactly she was going to do for Halloween. 

Suddenly there came a loud and distinctive meow from just off her rickety porch. It was Shadow, one of her newer feline additions. She lost count these days but she had at least two dozen cats now. Some stayed inside or hung around her overgrown yard, hunting for mice or lizards. Shadow was just over a year old by her estimation, nearly big as a medium sized dog, and black as midnight. Hence the name. She'd never bothered with coming inside but seemed happy to sometimes lay on the porch for neck scratches from her new mistress. She would wander away to hunt in the woods around her house and occasionally be gone for a few days. Recently she'd gotten into a scuffle with another feral cat or some other woods critter and had one ragged ear for her trouble.

However this Halloween would be her first with Josie. Shadow loved Josie. She sometimes got quite territorial when any of the other cats got too close to her. She was fairly protective of Josie as well.

Josie stood up and stepped off her porch, holding her smoldering pipe. She watched as Shadow sauntered around to where her overgrown garden lay behind the house. Her wizened eyes spied the top of her scarecrow who she'd long nicknamed Jack. 

A sly and wicked smile spread across her lined, leathery face. 

*    *    *

Jeremy and Nick had longed planned for this night. Hell, it was easily their favorite time of the year besides summer break and they couldn't wait to pull it off. 

Both were seniors at Summerdale High and had of course known about the Halloween tradition of pranking that crazy old woman named Josie. Supposedly, she was a witch who lived in the woods outside of town with a bunch of cats. They'd never been out there yet and while they'd always wanted to do this, now was the time. Next year would be college and away from Summerdale and on with the next chapter of their young lives. 

If only both their girlfriends were more enthusiastic about their ghoulishly fun All Hallows Eve plans. Carla and Stacy were less than happy about it, tried excusing themselves from it, but both Jeremy and Nick had convinced them to begrudgingly go along. 

Besides, both boys needed their girlfriends as eye witnesses.

They'd picked up a couple of cheap rubber Halloween masks for the occasion and other necessary supplies: a case of Budweiser swiped from Nick's father's garage fridge well stocked most of the time (he wouldn't miss it), a carton of eggs, and a camera that Jeremy's sister hadn't bothered with in months. Jeremy added two bags to their Prank Night gear. One bag full of fresh dog shit collected from the big back yard his 5 year old Rottweiler Butch made his daily deposits in and the other full of rotting mangos. The latter was in the front side yard and the damned thing sprouted so much of the tropical fruit every year (for years!) that his folks couldn't give it all away and Jeremy grew to hate the stuff. His mom was always trying to slip the fruit in every freaking thing since he was a kid.

Now they were sitting in Jeremy's Chevy Blazer after they'd picked up the girls, who sat in the back. Stacy asked about the beer, which was in a cooler behind her in the cargo compartment and as she turned around, Carla wrinkled her nose and made a face. Both girls hadn't bothered dressing up for the occasion, but instead wore regular date night clothes: Stacy in Jordache jeans and a button up blouse and Carla in a short skirt and matching top. Both wore tennis shoes. 

"Ewww, what's the smell?" Carla said.

Jeremy chuckled and thought of that old southern fried rock song as Nick popped in his current favorite cassette: Shout At The Devil by Motley Crue. He reached back his arm for his girlfriend to beer him as Jeremy drove them to the outskirts of town and their destination. 

"Seriously, guys...what's that horrible stench?" Stacy asked. She handed a beer to Carla, and handed one up to her boyfriend Nick. Jeremy would get his once they reached Josie Howard's place. 

"Just a bag of Butch poop," Nick told her. "We'll drop it at the old bat's front door and set it on fire. Then when she opens the door and stomps on the flames, I'll take a couple pictures! Man, this'll make us Summerdale High legends!" 

Both girls groaned and rolled their windows down. Stacy popped open the tab on her beer and said, "Not a very smart idea if you burn her place down." 

"Yeah, you'll be real legends, alright," Carla agreed. She rolled her eyes and tilted her face to the open window next to her. The slightly cool but humid night air provided some relief from the dog crap stench. She opened her can of Bud and sipped it. 

Stacy giggled. She tapped her Bud against her best friend's beer can. 

"Oh knock it off, you two," Nick said. "This is just Halloween fun. It's just a Summerdale High..."

"...tradition," Carla replied, cutting him off. "Yes we know, you've already told us that. Have you given any thought that she might just want to be left alone? She's just some weird lady who lives in the woods with her cats. Witch or not, she's probably tired of all this Halloween nonsense every year. I'd heard that she shot at kids one year, too." 

Stacy nodded her pretty brunette head. "Same here. Bet they got what was coming to them, the stupid jerks."

Jeremy groaned as the intro of the Crue tape started blasting to the self titled hit. "Whatever, but we won't be stupid and she's probably a lousy shot anyway. Besides I got my piece with me if she does." 

Nick turned to look at his best buddy. His dark eyebrows raised. "Really? You brought the Ruger Twenty two?"

Jeremy nodded. His Dad--a gun nut and seasonal hunter--bought him the target pistol for his sixteenth birthday. But Jeremy grew up with guns, knew how to shoot and had his own hunting rifle and shotgun. The Ruger was sweet, fun to take target shooting plus the ammo was cheap. He'd tucked it on his seat before leaving his house.

Both girls started to protest, to show their displeasure at Jeremy bringing a gun of all things to this Halloween prank. In fact, they wanted Jeremy to stop and take them both back home. This was ridiculous and really a bad idea!

"Relax, both of you, for fuck's sake," Nick said, sighing aloud. "We're not going back and we'll have a blast. You'll see!" He wanted to add that afterwards they'd find a nice secluded spot to park and have more beer, maybe fire up the big fat joint he'd bought from Scotty at school and then they'd see where things progressed after Prank Night. He'd brought a rubber, too. 

"Yeah, what Nick said," Jeremy added and braked the Blazer and started to turn the wheel. They'd been traveling down a darkened two lane road and hardly any other cars passed them. 

"Besides, girls, we have arrived," he said with a rather sinister chuckle. Nick reached over and killed the heavy metal tunes. 

Jeremy drove off the road and down a dirt road choked with trees on either side. Headlights from the Blazer pierced the thick, heavy darkness as Jeremy slowly proceeded down the lane barely wide enough for his truck. A few times scraggly branches scraped the sides of the vehicle like skeletal fingers and both Stacy and Carla rolled up their windows, shivering at the sound. From the deep night shrouded woods came the sursurrus buzzing of insects and God knows what else. 

It all spooked them. They drank more beer. 

"How much farther is it?" Nick asked, his face set with excitement.

"Just a little ways, I believe," Jeremy told him. "Around a bend, but maybe we should pull over before then, get out and walk the rest of the way. What do you think?"

Of course, the girls didn't like that idea at all. 

And the boys suddenly wondered if bringing them had been such a good idea, even if after they both might get laid. Probably but all the complaining was starting to ruin the Prank Night mood. 

"Screw it, just drive right up," Nick said, exhaling his mounting irritation at the backseat complaint committee. "We'll lob the eggs and stuff after we drop off Butch's Halloween contribution. Take a couple quick camera shots and then leave. Sound good?"

Jeremy grinned. "Sounds like a mighty fine plan."

"Just make it quick," Stacy said. "And for God's sake, don't even think about using the gun, Jeremy!" 

Carla nodded. "She's probably harmless, too. All those stories about her and that boogeyman...what's that name again?"

"Jack. Mister Jack," Nick replied. "My old man and his Dad grew up hearing those old ghost stories. Just a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. Stuff they made up to scare kids is all that was."

"Like Freddy Krueger or something?" Stacy asked. She hated horror movies, even if her boyfriend loved them. Freddy was his favorite. He took her to see that movie against her wishes and she had nightmares for weeks.

"No, not really. Freddy's a bad ass!" His second favorite was that Jason dude in his hockey mask, even though that signature look didn't appear until the 3rd movie. His older brother liked that Halloween movie with the Michael guy in the plain white mask, but he didn't think it was all that scary.

"Okay, guys," Jeremy said. "We're about here, so let's pipe down unless we want to warn her ahead of time." He'd suddenly killed the headlights as he slowed the Blazer to a crawl. 

Everyone craned their heads around to see anything after the Blazer's lights went out, and at first, they couldn't see much except blackness surrounding them. Then their eyes adjusted to the inky gloom and thanks to the moon washing ashen pale light down over everything that they could pick out details.

Jeremy brought the truck to a halt and left the engine idling.

Up ahead and to the left stood a little house with a sagging covered front porch. A twisted oak tree sat right off the porch, gnarled branches reaching out close enough to touch the wooden railing. 

All the windows appeared darkened and most likely the old woman was already in bed asleep. Or maybe she'd died or moved away. 

Only one way to find out, Jeremy thought. He pulled up closer and turned to Nick. He nodded and Nick climbed out to walk around to the rear cargo door and opened it. 

Jeremy got out and joined him, and both donned their Halloween masks. Jeremy wore a big skull mask that glowed in the dark and Nick had on one that looked liked a deranged, pale-faced killer with bloodshot eyes and wide toothy grin.

They gathered up their "supplies." Both hummed with the thrill of what they were about to do. Nick clutched the bag of doggy-doo and the camera while Jeremy grabbed the bag of rotten fruit and the eggs. 

In tones, they quickly discussed their plan of action. First the bag of Butch crap at the door, then they'd lob mangos and eggs at the house. That would certainly wake the old bat up, then they'd hopefully snap a few pictures of her stomping out the flaming shit. 

Then they'd get out of there. 

Both boys knew their Halloween exploits would gain them legendary status amongst Summerdale High classmates and when the pictures got developed and passed around, Jeremy and Nick would get talked about by others at the school for years! 

As Nick cautiously approached the porch carrying the bag in one hand, he stopped just a few steps away. He hadn't noticed it before but suddenly he saw several sets of yellowish eyes glinting in the ambient moonlight. Her cats. Most of them came from the deep shadows of the porch but a few sat in the pools of darkness in the weedy grass. Then he saw the carved pumpkin sitting beside the front screen door. It glowed faintly with the guttering candle inside.

Shit, he thought. That's pretty spooky.

A few of the lounging but wary felines grew restless and moved at the approach of this stranger. Nick hesitated on the stoop. Did a few of them meow threateningly at him? 

"What are you waiting for?" Jeremy whispered. "Hurry up!" 

Nick cast a quick and slightly annoyed look (which obviously his best friend couldn't see because of the mask) back at Jeremy before facing the porch, pumpkin, and small army of cats. 

Quickly, he stepped up and placed the bag next to the pumpkin in front of the screen door. As he stepped away, turning to step off the porch, he thought he heard cackling laughter emanating from somewhere inside the house. Or was it out back? He couldn't tell. He reached inside his jeans pocket for the book of matches. He'd light one and go back to drop it on the paper sack. But he hadn't realized just how damned old this place was, looked to be completely wooden and Nick suddenly felt like his girlfriend's warning had some merit. Christ, if they weren't careful they'd set this dump on fire! 

"Come on, man...do it!" 

Jeremy was starting to piss him off. He wasn't the one holding the matches having second thoughts about potentially burning down the old witch's hovel, for fuck's sake! 

Nick started to walk over to him when he heard the noise again. Well, a noise and it definitely was coming from behind the house now. 

"Hey, Jer, did you hear that?" 

Nick couldn't tell from the mask if he had and he reached up to pull his own mask off his face. Jeremy did the same. 

"Why'd you take the mask off? What are you talking ab--?"

Then it came again. That sound, only louder. It was a terrible howling sound that made both boys freeze in their tracks as they eyes swiveled to the murky shadows along the left side of the house. 

Jeremy yanked off his mask. "What the hell...?"

Nick saw it first because he was closest. His eyes widened and dimly, he thought he heard the girls asking them what was going on. Thought he heard one of the passenger doors creak open. He opened his mouth to warn them to stay inside but then whoever had gotten out saw it too and screamed.

Nick felt like loosing a very unmanly shriek himself.

The figure creeping out of the darkness was tall and skinny. Dressed in rags with a big misshapen head. The head of the thing was huge like the pumpkin sitting on Josie's porch, and it's eyes seemed to glow with some inner hellish light. The closer it crept, making that horrible sound like cats or dogs being tortured, the more the moonlight revealed its form. Nick nearly wet himself when he saw what was clutched in one bony hand: a wickedly sharp looking machete.

It lurched forward at him, maybe a dozen feet away. Nick cried out shrilly and before for the Blazer. 

As Nick climbed into the passenger seat, calling out for Jeremy, his friend hesitated for a moment before he turned away to get behind the wheel. The girls were crying, telling him to get them the hell out of there, but in a moment of testosterone fueled bravado, he grabbed the Ruger .22 under his seat.

He'd been startled for sure, maybe even a bit scared at first, but another part of him thought this was Josie herself in disguise. In fact, he'd bet on it. 

Brandishing the pistol, he turned to face the gaunt, grim, pumpkin-headed ghoul bathed in the light of the Halloween moon. Fuck, if that thing didn't really have a Jack O'Lantern for a head. 

"What are you doing, man? Let's get the fuck outta here!" Nick yelled. The girls screamed, crying.

Jeremy began to point the gun at it, at her, at Josie, the Old Witch of Summerdale, but didn't shoot. Was this really her or...Mister Jack? He wasn't really going to shoot her, was he? Or...it? If it was the local boogeyman, would bullets even stop it?

Goosebumps rippled over his skin and he broke out in cold sweat. His finger caressed the trigger. 

Fuck this! 

Then a low growl came at him, but it wasn't that thing. Sometimes else and it leapt at him, big and black, eyes flashing like narrowed yellow pinpoints and Jeremy felt the gun fly from his hand as something struck it. Then he felt pain, sharp agonizing pain as teeth and claws ripped into his hand, his arm, blood spurting...

He screamed himself and flung his arm around as the huge black cat attacked him, biting and clawing, even its back claws raking across his belly, slicing through his shirt. Finally it let go and he fell back, scrabbling for the door. He tugged it open and got inside. His bloodied hand shook as he fumbled for the gear shift. Outside the truck, there came howls and snarls and he didn't dare look at it...

"Just go, man, go!" Nick begged him.

Finally his blood slippery hands got the truck in gear and tromped on the gas. He might've scraped the Blazer against some trees or bushes but he didn't give a flying fuck. He just wanted to get gone from here.

As they quickly departed, Nick looked back once more. He never said anything to either his best friend or his girl. In fact, neither of them talked about that night. But as rounded the bend, he thought his saw something else. 

Of course it could've been his eyes playing games with him, being so frightened, or a trick of the moonlight or something.

But before the truck made the turn and he lost sight of the house, and the ominous figure with the pumpkin head, Nick thought he saw something else. Another figure behind it. Tall. Shadowy. With eyes that glowed lambently. 

Naw, that couldn't have been anything more than his frenzied, terrified imagination, right?

After all, it was just Halloween.